stolen blades
Saturday, Mar. 29, 2003 :: 8:45 p.m.
nothing helps when you're left alone from your comfort. taken away like a broken toy. 'you're better than this, let's get something new. something i like.' what about what i want!? what about the solace i've found living here under this rock of pain? what about the comfort i gain from looking at the blade? not even using it.
but no, she took it all away from me. and i'm alone. and crying. and dying. and i just want that blade more than anything now. take it away and we just want it more. she increased my craving. it's all her fault. so why do i feel so guilty? shouldn't i have moved the blades? shouldn't i have locked the door? shouldn't i have known better than this?
and i just wanted it to go away.
more than anything i want to talk to you about it. it hurts and i want to express my pain. i want you to listen. to try to understand. but you are never here when i need you. and i don't want to weigh down an already bad day. get happy so i can push you down again.
hurting is the only thing i'm good at lately.
last five entries
you say i'm different, but i stay the same - Saturday, Jan. 26, 2008
i open my mouth to scream, but all i make is silence - Wednesday, Mar. 14, 2007
just in case you wondered... - Thursday, Aug. 10, 2006
past present future - Thursday, Jun. 01, 2006
don't just hit delete without reading the content - Tuesday, Jan. 31, 2006
